doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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