just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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