whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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