I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
