whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
