please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
