Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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