You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
