I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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