I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize