Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
