My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize