Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
