Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
