I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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