I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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