Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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