I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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