the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
