I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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