Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize