i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
