I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
