we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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