She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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