Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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