She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
