i jhust puked up my retainher.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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