I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I bet he comes in French.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize