I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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