When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
