reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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