I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
