I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
