I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
