you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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