Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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