am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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