I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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