I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
