Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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