Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
