I just cut my nipple shaving
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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