Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I party with great urgency now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
