I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
