i just wanna soil my oats bro
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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