booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
