hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize