if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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