Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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