if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize