Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
