so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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