Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
