btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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