Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
