one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
then he tried to convert me to islam
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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