..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
