Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
