remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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