please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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