i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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