Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
